DON'T TREAD ON ME!
The motto of the thirteen colonies during the American Revolution was "Don't tread on me!" This exclamation was embroidered into one of our earliest flags. Over the motto was a curled snake prepared to strike. I felt like that snake as I sat on the bathroom floor, diligently laying tiles. I told Robin, "Watch where you step!"
She does not walk around with her nose in the air, yet she is not a woman to hang her head as she goes about her wifely business. On this occasion, I had to point out to her more than once the hazard presented by my stray foot or extended torso.
If she were to trip after such dire warnings, would it be my fault? or her own? My lawyer tells me that no court would convict me of negligence because SHE stumbled over MY foot, even if SHE wound up stocking-footed in a patch of wet glue.
Her lawyer insists I should buy a new pair of socks and deliver an abject apology for this hypothetical occurrence. The apology is not for being at the wrong place at the wrong time; rather it is for laughing at the wrong place and at the wrong time.
I instructed my lawyer not to settle out of court.
In response, Robin has decided to pursue me for punitive damages, alleging malicious endangerment. My lawyer says we can have a judge dismiss the case on the grounds it is frivolous.
I can't accuse my wife of frivolousness! She would take her case to the ACLU and then I would be in real trouble.
Besides tiles, you will need grout, spacers and glue. Glue for tiling is called mastic. This is because anything that touches it "must stick" as in the case of my wife's socks.
Mastic is spread over a surface with a special trowel that has ridged edges. The tile is pressed into the glue and laid evenly with spacers.
Work from the middle of the room toward the sides to prevent tiles from following the contour of a wall that might be crooked or not properly aligned with the other three walls.