Hand-painted tiles can give an elegant touch to bathrooms or kitchen walls. My wife was desperate for hand-painted tiles with "fishies" on them. I was fortunate in that my mother has a steady hand and an inclination for pottery. She saved me a bundle.
For our new bathroom, I commissioned my mom to paint fish on about thirty tiles. Robin picked out some pictures of the aquatic creatures and my mother set to work. Mom went beyond my specifications and surprised us with a nine-tile mural. It was better than a professional job and not simply because my mother had painted it. I resolved to keep it a secret from Robin until I had tiled the shower.
On the fateful day when I unveiled the work to her, Robin was in a state of pensive excitement. I led her by the hand into the newly finished room. She gazed at my craftsmanship with wonder.
I grinned broadly, anticipating the moment when she caught sight of the mural. I could barely keep from staring at it myself. It was a rustic scene, a boy sitting next to a pond with a fishing pole. The pole was bent over in a perfect parabolic arc. In the foreground was a large-mouthed bass jumping over the water.
Robin turned to the shower and saw the masterwork. The loud applause I had expected was not to be. My wife turned to me in horror. "Oh no! The fishy has a hook in its mouth!"
I had forgotten that Robin's affection for fish did not extend to seeing them dragged from their home environment by the ruthless hand of man.
She refused to get in the same shower as a hooked bass. I had to recommission the offending tile of the mural. Now the fish is splashing over the pond in joyous abandon.
Meanwhile, the boy's pole is still bent over, cruelly deceiving him into believing that there is a fish on the end of his line. I call it the...fu-tile.