Go to How Not to Build an Addition Index! This page includes notes on subtle hints.


With sheathing in place, you are now in a position to fool your wife into believing you are a hopeless romantic (or perhaps you can dispel some of the doubts she has expressed recently about ever having married you). This is an incredibly easy ploy, and best of all, it is inexpensive in that it can be done with materials at hand.

Find a can of primer left over from when you were repainting the gas tank of your Harley. Shake the can until the little steel ball sounds like a cat in heat on a hot summer night. Taking care not to let the paint run, spray the figure of a huge heart on the sheathing.

Inside the heart, using a carpenter's pencil, spell out some of the mushy stuff you used to say when you were trying to convince her that you were not like all the other guys (little do they know, we ARE all alike, at least when it comes to the basics). Any comments referring to her beauty or charm will be fine. Try not to be too graphic in your references; wives tend to be unaccountably prudish about their romanticism (particularly when it involves a public display). Next, go into the house and tell her you want her to come outside to see how nice the sheathing looks.

The key to a successful ploy is proper timing. Make sure you have plenty of opportunity to put siding over your message before the guys from the car pool come by on Monday. They could give you a rough time if they thought you might be sentimental about your wife. If you cannot put on siding right away, that's OK. You undoubtedly have some extra plywood that can be conveniently leaned against the gushy doodle after your wife rushes inside with tears of joy in her eyes.

No wife is immune from this tactic. She will fall all over you for several days. She might even fix your favorite meal. My wife decided it was time to fulfill my fondest fantasy: she went with me to the civic coliseum to see "Wrestlemania". I had the time of my life. (She swore that she would never go back - what is it with women and male fantasies?)

Next Page

Sheathing and Siding:
Secret Hanging Method
Subtle Hints
Sail Area
Up and Down

See below to order the book!

Introduction | Decision Making | Design | Permits | Buying Materials | Demolition | Digging | Masonry | Framing | Electricity | Plumbing | Inspections | Roofing | Sheathing / Siding | Soffits | Insurance | Insulation | Fat Fireman Rule | Drywall | Finish Carpentry | Tile | Painting | Carpet | Done

About the Author:
W.J. Rayment built an addition on his house, and in the course of the project learned from his many mistakes. This on-line compendium is his effort to help you learn from his experience. The advice and stories are often humorous, sometimes silly, but always informative. for yourself or as a gift for family or friends.

Contact Us | Privacy Statement