Gotti Drive

Dear Little Bitch:

I thank you for your most prompt and expeditious reply that we may soon seek the blissful rewards of mutual gratification.

Reviewing your email message of Wednesday, February 26, 2003 1:01 PM, I am prepared now to take the next step and reply to your instructions.

Unfortunately, I cannot call you because I am completely deaf in one ear, and suffer a 90 % hearing loss in the other, owing to an unfortunate accident I suffered as a child when I punctured both eardrums with a number 2 pencil (thus, my earlier abhorrence to use of said implement).

Is there another way we can speak? I live off exit 22 of the New Jersey Turnpike. You just go a mile down Soprano Lane to Gotti Drive, and turn left at the big house on the corner. I can fix up the downstairs room (it's really a basement, but we call it a rumpus room), so you could stay over night if you need to. Me and my wife don't get a lot of visitors, so we'd love the company.

Anyway, let me know if this works for you. I'd offer to drive and pick you up at the airport, but they took away my license when I hit that milk truck a few years back. I couldn't hear the police siren because I was deaf, but they didn't believe me, so now I sit at home and watch CNN all the time. Do you get CNN there too? That Judy Woodruff is pretty hot, don't you think?

Well, I've gone on too long now, but you seem like such a nice guy, and I get real lonely, so I like to write to people whenever I get a new friend.

You are the answer to my prayers.

Best wishes,
Big Dawg

Phil Jackson is the Author of the TimeShift Trilogy. His books are available at Amazon.com: