Go to How Not to Build an Addition Index! This page is about Brainfarts.


One of the bad things about design drawing is that it can be dreadfully tedious. While you are staring at the paper, trying to decide where to draw the next line, you might draw a complete blank instead. In psychiatric circles this is known as a brain fart. Behavioral scientists describe it as a pocket of air in the brain that blocks progressive logical thought. A Freudian would tell you that it is caused by a regression to your Oedipal childhood fixation for matronly women. I prefer to call it boredom. It is not as if I don't already know what I want to build. I have a general idea of how I want to do it. Just put a hammer in my hands and let me go at it. I'm not going to look at these blueprints when I'm done anyway. I can use any old piece of paper for a tool marker. I still have leftover instructions from the last VCR I bought. They would serve the purpose just as well!

Here, we come to a sore point. The thing that really bugs me about the whole superfluous design process...government. I would never have even thought about any of this planning stuff if "Big Brother" had not said that it has to be done. The time and expense are unnecessary. But the state has to get its fingers in everyone's business. They want to regulate even a little bitty addition. They say they want to protect you and the next owner of your home by making certain you follow all the safety guidelines. They want to make sure that your work meets energy standards.

I've got only one response to big government - mind your own business! I am not going to intentionally hurt myself. I hurt myself often enough unintentionally. These rules are all well and good for the other guy, someone who needs a plan. I should be exempt! At least these are the thoughts going through my mind as I stare blankly at a piece of vellum marked only by a narrow brown streak from one of those 64 Crayolas.

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About the Author:
W.J. Rayment built an addition on his house, and in the course of the project learned from his many mistakes. This on-line compendium is his effort to help you learn from his experience. The advice and stories are often humorous, sometimes silly, but always informative. for yourself or as a gift for family or friends.

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